Author Topic: Life cycle of a Stern machine.  (Read 2722 times)

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Offline pinsanity

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Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« on: April 06, 2015, 03:15:14 PM »
Life cycle of a Stern machine.

Prenatal propaganda stage:
Vague misleading Facebook posts.
Speculation becomes fever pitch.
Hype builds to crescendo.
Backbox head begins to crown - title release is imminent.

Machine is born:
The faithful proclaim it the best machine ever and local distros begin dropping hints they can't keep up with demand.

3 days to 1 week post birth:
Machine actually gets played and people realise half the shots aren't coded into the gameplay.
Punters cry out for code updates; nothing of any significance is forthcoming.
Hitler video surfaces lampooning the machine's price/gameplay/lack of signifcant code.


1 to 3 months post birth:
Distros are still sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
"Does anyone know what Stern's next title is?" starts appearing on pinball forums.

3 to 6 months post birth:
Owners begin dressing up their machines with various accoutrement to compensate for the lack of actual significant code development.


12 months plus post birth:
Distros are STILL sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
Machine has code updated to come close to resembling what was advertised in the original sales brochure.
The faithful again proclaim it the best machine ever. The astute quickly flip them as a 12 month old HUO with less than 100 plays.

Rinse and repeat.


« Last Edit: April 06, 2015, 03:19:41 PM by pinsanity »

Offline Retropin

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Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2015, 03:38:54 PM »
Life cycle of a Stern machine.

Prenatal propaganda stage:
Vague misleading Facebook posts.
Speculation becomes fever pitch.
Hype builds to crescendo.
Backbox head begins to crown - title release is imminent.

Machine is born:
The faithful proclaim it the best machine ever and local distros begin dropping hints they can't keep up with demand.

3 days to 1 week post birth:
Machine actually gets played and people realise half the shots aren't coded into the gameplay.
Punters cry out for code updates; nothing of any significance is forthcoming.
Hitler video surfaces lampooning the machine's price/gameplay/lack of signifcant code.


1 to 3 months post birth:
Distros are still sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
"Does anyone know what Stern's next title is?" starts appearing on pinball forums.

3 to 6 months post birth:
Owners begin dressing up their machines with various accoutrement to compensate for the lack of actual significant code development.


12 months plus post birth:
Distros are STILL sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
Machine has code updated to come close to resembling what was advertised in the original sales brochure.
The faithful again proclaim it the best machine ever. The astute quickly flip them as a 12 month old HUO with less than 100 plays.

Rinse and repeat.




Pretty much in a nut shell...

Offline Freiherr

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Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2015, 08:43:27 PM »
It all works so well.
Keeps the Hitler  videos fresh and interesting.
If you don't remember the 70s then you were on drugs.
If you remember playing pinball in the 70s you were having a good time.
If you don't remember anything,  then read about it here,

Offline andypinboy

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Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2015, 08:48:05 PM »
Absolutely! It's a cycle of beauty. Everytime Hitler starts to shake as he removes his glasses you know he's about to release a tirade of abuse aimed at Stern 's quality/ marketing/ LE/ code. I find this far more exciting & suspenseful than what the next Stern machine will be. The Hitler Stern videos - now that's genius!!!  @@*
I enjoy Porsche, Gibson LPs, Bally-Williams & learning about pinball maintenance & restoration.

Offline andypinboy

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2015, 11:00:42 AM »
Well poor ol' Pinsanity is on a break from AP - but I was having a look on Pinside & saw multiple posts about the infamous Choggard. Sounds like he was a piece of work. I only learned about him from the Hitler videos - so they are educational too - they should not be discounted as they display much insight. Waiting patiently for someone to post as soon as a new one is released  :lol

Re Stern I just don't get it. As soon as you "drive it off the lot" it looses a couple of grand. But most of all they aren't (can never be) part of pinball nostalgia. It's like lining up an xd falcon next to an xy. the xd is worth zilch. to me the bally/ williams are hq monaros - they are iconic, they are built to last, they look great, they are getting rarer & if looked after they play fantastic.

Is it just me that doesn't get y some people are so pro-Stern??
« Last Edit: April 12, 2015, 11:13:52 AM by andypinboy »
I enjoy Porsche, Gibson LPs, Bally-Williams & learning about pinball maintenance & restoration.

Offline Cow Corner

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2015, 11:08:20 AM »
The Hitler videos are gold!
" It's not the right time to be sober, now the idiots are taking over"

Offline Pop Bumper Pete

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2015, 11:51:06 AM »
.

Is it just me that doesn't get y some people are so pro-Stern??

it came to me a few months ago
Stern make great pinball machines
Bally/Williams made a great pinball experience

Offline Freiherr

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2015, 01:06:23 PM »


Re Stern I just don't get it. As soon as you "drive it off the lot" it looses a couple of grand. But most of all they aren't (can never be) part of pinball nostalgia. It's like lining up an xd falcon next to an xy. the xd is worth zilch. to me the bally/ williams are hq monaros - they are iconic, they are built to last, they look great, they are getting rarer & if looked after they play fantastic.

Is it just me that doesn't get y some people are so pro-Stern??

Same thing with price drop back in the good old days.
I bought my Flash in 1980 from an operator for $500 which was less than half new price. This machine is in original and good condition.
The only things that have changed are technology and inflation.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2015, 01:09:00 PM by Freiherr »
If you don't remember the 70s then you were on drugs.
If you remember playing pinball in the 70s you were having a good time.
If you don't remember anything,  then read about it here,

Offline oldskool1969

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2015, 01:24:15 PM »
 %.%   !!!

didn't know whether to laugh or cry as you are spot on Dude  ^^^
GI is still the BEST GAME EVER though.
Don't know how much dressing up of WNBJM I can do though, I bought this as it had no hype and not many people liked it.
I love  good boat anchor !  *.*
If it isn't broke, it isn't pinball.

Offline andypinboy

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2015, 02:05:18 PM »

Oldskool did you really buy a WNBJM? You do realise it was designed by Rolf Harris?  :lol

I'm sticking with Bally / Williams for now - would make me  !!!  to lose a few $thousand each pinball by buying new Sterns.
I enjoy Porsche, Gibson LPs, Bally-Williams & learning about pinball maintenance & restoration.

Offline pinballheaven

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2015, 03:43:40 PM »
Life cycle of a Stern machine.

Prenatal propaganda stage:
Vague misleading Facebook posts.
Speculation becomes fever pitch.
Hype builds to crescendo.
Backbox head begins to crown - title release is imminent.

Machine is born:
The faithful proclaim it the best machine ever and local distros begin dropping hints they can't keep up with demand.

3 days to 1 week post birth:
Machine actually gets played and people realise half the shots aren't coded into the gameplay.
Punters cry out for code updates; nothing of any significance is forthcoming.
Hitler video surfaces lampooning the machine's price/gameplay/lack of signifcant code.


1 to 3 months post birth:
Distros are still sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
"Does anyone know what Stern's next title is?" starts appearing on pinball forums.

3 to 6 months post birth:
Owners begin dressing up their machines with various accoutrement to compensate for the lack of actual significant code development.


12 months plus post birth:
Distros are STILL sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
Machine has code updated to come close to resembling what was advertised in the original sales brochure.
The faithful again proclaim it the best machine ever. The astute quickly flip them as a 12 month old HUO with less than 100 plays.

Rinse and repeat.




LMFAO how true!

Offline Strangeways

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2015, 04:17:13 PM »
It may well be a true reflection of the life cycle of a Stern game - but I will say one thing - Stern are making games that we so easily pick holes in. There's stuff all competition - so Stern can operate how they want to. Very recent history has proven the boutique manufacturers are falling over like flies, or picking technology that is not meant to last.

It is a fact - Sterns are not built like Bally Williams. As Pete mentioned, the B/W are more like "pinball experiences". I always walk away from Monster Bash with a smile on my face. i love the game, but would never own one - because I love the "pinball experience" of playing someone else's !

If I had Gary Stern's attention for 5 minutes I'd ask him to work HARDER on QA, put more time into field testing (thus completing code) and get serious with pricing. The pricing I feel is the biggest issue. It has nothing to do with local currencies - their machines out of the factory are not worth the asking price.

TWD is an absolute cracker of a game. Really impressive.
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Offline GORGAR 1

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2015, 04:54:41 PM »
Agreed Nino TWD is a super fun game :) great dots and I've added the pinball browser TV show call outs icing on the cake.

Offline andypinboy

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2015, 05:09:14 PM »
There's an upside in weight - a Stern is easily 100 pounds less than a bally dmd. I think the Stern pricing is a rort & even some of the fans are sick of being bent over - they are at least $3k too expensive in Oz. And then the code DOES suck - maybe a year later it is improved - but it's still not perfect. And the crap with limited edition of the limited edition with the backglass sat on by a limited edition designer - it's madness & a company can only run this way, because as you say Nino, it has no real competition. but even a monopoly (providing a non-essential good) can't run this way forever - once bitten shy, twice bitten enough. Stern needs to start taking care of its customers. And maybe add at least some reinforcement so it feels like the machine is grounded.
I enjoy Porsche, Gibson LPs, Bally-Williams & learning about pinball maintenance & restoration.

Offline Retropin

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Re: Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2015, 05:24:50 PM »
The holes picked in Stern machines aren't a real issue... it used to be the quality of artwork with the crappy printing they did. They've upgraded this but the recipe of cut and paste floating heads still remains because its what they do... useless large toys is my biggest gripe along with captive bumpers. But the games have on the whole improved these last few years. The positives outweigh the negatives and the push for better games will always see a critique on each new title.
Im told Stern listen right??... Ok - well go and critique cos then they'll make better and better machines.
Stern were never in the league of the big players.. now they are really the only players but they remain as Stern.. always a few marks short of what could have been.