The Aussie Pinball Arcade
Aussie Pinball Forums => General Chat - Non Pinball/coin-opp Discussion => Topic started by: Pop Bumper Pete on May 02, 2010, 02:10:04 AM
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While walking down the street one day a politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the politician.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The politician reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.. .
Today you voted."
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Excellent Joke. ^^^ ^^^
My dad told me one about politicians years ago. It goes like this.
A politician dies and goes to heaven. After a few days he is thrown out for telling too many lies.
He arrives at hell and is greeted by the devil. The politician looks around and sees a dozen other men drinking cups of tea and eating biscuits, standing in a few feet of shit.
The politician asks whats going on. The devil replies, "ohh dont worry, all the shit on the ground represents all the lies blokes like you have told all your life, but dont worry, u can join the rest and have a nice cup of tea and talk to your hearts content as much as u want".
The politician grabs a cuppa and thinks this is easy.
Then a large bell is heard, and the devil yells out "ok men, tea time is over, get back to doing a handstand and put ya heads back in the shit". !*!
boom boom. yeh, its about 50 yrs old that joke, but the only one i know with a devil, heaven and a bloody politician. @.@
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"Yesterday we were campaigning.. .Today you voted."
Thanks for the early morning chuckle!!
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it's always good to here a good joke or 2
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Love the polly jokes. Has there even been an honest politician ? ^&^
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Has there even been an honest politician ? ^&^
Therein "lies" the biggest joke!!