I have often thought about this Freiherr
I think it could be as simply as like the Transformers game - select left or right flipper button. A little bit of simple programming that then can be used on every game
Left - is for the beginner / casual player
Right - is for the deep rule set player
Then if the player sets up his game for beginner / casual player the game could ask
Left - for some instructions - via the DMD and like you said flashing the lights on features on the game with all the other lights going out so they can identify what they must do
Right - to just launch into the game
I also don't think this will be too hard for the kids as it is amazing how they can get around a iPad or there x-box