My wife was laying on the bed once naked, I told her to stay really still..... I said that there was a GIANT hairy funnel web spider right between her legs... I said don't move, let me take a closer look... I then said don't worry, it's just your hairy Cun7.  ( boom boom )

Now ya know why I am seperated, but fark it was funny at the time.  
She threw shoes at me etc. I think I even slept on the lounge. I was laughing for days....