A TALE FROM THE CRYPT:
An object was found in the crypt which purported to be the "petrified penis of a past & popular Persian prince".
Closer examination revealed it was the "crystallised crap of a creep who crept into the crypt, crapped & crept out again".
Try saying it quickly.
Seriously though, I'd love to hear any opinions of TFTC it's on the creepy machine wish list.
Let us know if you acquire one Peter!