"What is it about the old EM abd SS machines that is lacking in new DMDs?"
DMDs need gizmos, toys and gimmicks to be as playable as an EM or SS. You need to spend hours and hours working out the rules and then you can finally look at mastering the game. Take a classic like "Drop A Card". Easy rules but VERY hard to achieve. But at least the player understands what needs to be done. It all comes down to the rules. You can tell a child the rules on any EM or SS (except Spectrum) and they can understand the game. You can't explain the rules of ST TNG to a child as it is a deep ruleset.
Flash is a universally loved game because it is one of the best playing SS machines. It is easy for a child to play Flash and not be overwhelmed by toys, scoops and ramps. Some of the older generation don't "get" DMDs as they frustrated when the ball spends more time obscured behind complicated ramps. The fun is gone the moment the ball disappears !
Having said that, the toys on games does attract younger kids. My son loved Addams Family because he thought "thing" was real. He was scared of the Ringmaster. My daughter loves Rudy. Both my kids are pre teens, but they love pinball.
I think the natural development of pinball became too complicated for kids who liked simple things like Galaga and Frogger. Pinball is more of a "thinking kid's game". These days, kids learn a new game an become quickly bored of it. Pinball is just a big box that looks the same every time they look at it, but each game is different. No two games play the same.
Kids are lucky to have any form of pinball in the games room. Whether it be DMD, SS or EM. I notice the only family member that does not like Pinball is the wife !