Everything in your post was reasonabley reasonable so to speak , til the last few lines about mens groups......

Thankyou for that exceptional piece of advice Gavin. I honestly don't know where I would be tomorrow without it. 

In a better place than you are now is the answer to that Brett. You have already written off Family Court as some male hating establishment and will therefore make any effort through them with the wrong attitude. My experience was the complete opposite, I represented myself on most occasions ( some 8 appearances all up) and won every time. My ex did not have any rulings made in her favour.
Why? I took advice on how to do it and it was through a mens group that I got that advice.
So instead of spouting on here about your issues.. you need to instead direct your energy to more positive forms of advice and LEARN how to approach the path you are about to undertake.
Be sarcastic all you like, but the advice I gave you here is the best you will get and will do you great favours in the near future.