I'd like a translation on the lapdogs & tropical fruit please

Succinct translation - be thankful that AP exists.

Years ago when I first got into the hobby,  and being pretty green around pinballs, I called on a local tech to come fix the flippers on my GnR..  I watched him poke and probe, scratch his head,  umm and argh..  20 minutes later he had repaired it.  $160 please.!  I saw what he did,  he replaced a couple of fuses under the playfield.. 

Once bitten...

That's what happens when the geographically parochial collude together to eliminate any form of perceived competition for their own ego. Entrenched corruption goes hand in hand with any self serving oligarchy.

Given its arbitrary structure, you could probably call it a banana republic.....