U are one accident prone fella. 

Your wife should take out a 2 million dollar insurance policy on you ! $$$  (yes, it will be hard to beat the clothes line. that is a record hard to beat-no pun intended)

My brother dated a chick with cankles. Til this day, i never let him down about it. She wanted him to buy her a anklet chain, i suggested he go to the hardware shop instead of the jewellers, she was that fat with massive cankles, uuurrrrgggghhhhhh yuk !. lol