Author Topic: Life cycle of a Stern machine.  (Read 2777 times)

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Offline Retropin

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Life cycle of a Stern machine.
« on: April 06, 2015, 03:38:54 PM »
Life cycle of a Stern machine.

Prenatal propaganda stage:
Vague misleading Facebook posts.
Speculation becomes fever pitch.
Hype builds to crescendo.
Backbox head begins to crown - title release is imminent.

Machine is born:
The faithful proclaim it the best machine ever and local distros begin dropping hints they can't keep up with demand.

3 days to 1 week post birth:
Machine actually gets played and people realise half the shots aren't coded into the gameplay.
Punters cry out for code updates; nothing of any significance is forthcoming.
Hitler video surfaces lampooning the machine's price/gameplay/lack of signifcant code.


1 to 3 months post birth:
Distros are still sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
"Does anyone know what Stern's next title is?" starts appearing on pinball forums.

3 to 6 months post birth:
Owners begin dressing up their machines with various accoutrement to compensate for the lack of actual significant code development.


12 months plus post birth:
Distros are STILL sitting on LE models despite earlier claims of unprecedented demand.
Machine has code updated to come close to resembling what was advertised in the original sales brochure.
The faithful again proclaim it the best machine ever. The astute quickly flip them as a 12 month old HUO with less than 100 plays.

Rinse and repeat.




Pretty much in a nut shell...